I just want to be held. To feel something real. To understand what is going on in your brain and why this has lasted so long without and why you decided to just pop back into my life. Was it because you found out you weren’t the only one? That you weren’t special? I enjoy your company, but this relationship is meaningless. Give me a reason to stay. Because I really do want to.

I’m also afraid. Because if you stay, and if those three words are said, I can’t promise things won’t drastically change. The last person I said those to and told everything to used it all against me in the end, and ended up not caring for me at all. Then on top of it all, playing it off like it was a prank on me the whole time. I don’t know if I can fully trust someone ever again.